So I’ve been thinking a lot about how we’re taught to view recovery and relapse as opposing ends, and we’re either in one or we’re in the other. But I’m wondering, are the two actually that mutually exclusive? Or can you be recovering even in relapse?
Like I’m just not at the point in my relapse where “normal” eating is going to happen, or where I’d be content at my current weight or even losing the weight slowly. But in terms of recovery I’m still working on the not hating myself, not living in the guilt and shame of my illness, even if I’m not at the point where physical recovery is going to happen yet. I’m still recovering even in the midst of relapse.
I’m not there yet, but one day I will be, and being able to allow recovery and relapse to coexist in the meantime will one day help me cross that line from one (relapse) to the other (full recovery). If I learn to love myself emotionally now I’ll be better placed to love myself physically later.
Just a thought.
N.B. The featured pic is of my new tattoo (my second 😊), which is the Lovatics heart that fans made for Demi Lovato whilst she was in treatment 7 years ago. It symbolises recovery and above all the love I cannot give myself but I can still receive from those who love me.